Dr. J Ravikumar Stephen G.

In my Valentine’s Day message, I discussed how the tradition of secret love (களவு) marriages in India was gradually corrupted into arranged marriages due to the influx of Aryans into South Asia between 1000 BC and 1000 AD. In this blog, I will explore how the Dravidian society in the Levant region was similarly influenced by Aryan customs, leading to the adoption of arranged marriages and the dowry system.

By now, many of you may already be aware that after the Ice Age and the Great Deluge, one of Noah’s grandsons by name Ashur established a city in what is now Kazakhstan. This city, built accommodated the migrating Aryans who were moving southward from the Arctic region. The Aryans referred to this city as ‘Arjika’ in the Rig Veda.

Following their defeat in the ‘Dev-Ashur-Sangram,’ the descendants of Ashur were forced to leave Arjika. They migrated with their urban infrastructure, including irrigation systems, and settled in various places. The Vedic Aryans, who were primarily nomadic pastoralists, lacked the knowledge to maintain these advanced settlements. As a result, they referred the migratory cities of the Dravidian Ashurs as “Flying Cities.”

The Aryans, unable to sustain Arjika’s infrastructure, such as the dam across the Ili River, eventually abandoned the city. They then migrated to the banks of the Amu Darya River (‘Rig Veda,’ M-1, S-62, R-5), which flows into the Aral Sea in present-day Uzbekistan (see the 1St picture). It was here that they first domesticated horses for warfare and invented spooked-wheel chariots, giving them a significant military advantage and enabling them to establish settlements.

Meanwhile, the descendants of Ashur founded cities such as Nineveh (modern-day city of Mosul in northern Iraq), Rehoboth, Calah, and Resen in the Levant, along the Tigris–Euphrates river system. Seeing the prosperity of these Dravidian cities, the warring Vedic Aryans began to conquer several regions in the Levant. This brief historical overview provides context for the discussion that follows.

Love Marriages in Ancient Times

One of the earliest recorded love marriages was that of Ya’aqov (Jacob) and Rāḥēl (Rachel). Ya’aqov, who lived between approximately 1836 BC and 1689 BC, fell in love with his first cousin Rāḥēl at first sight. However, his maternal uncle, Lavan, took advantage of his deep love and made him work for seven years to earn Rāḥēl’s hand in marriage. At the end of this period, instead of giving him Rāḥēl, Lavan deceived him by sending her sister, Le’ah, to his bed. Thus, Ya’aqov was forced to work another seven years to marry Rāḥēl.

Another notable case was Moshe (Moses), who lived in the 14th or 13th century BC. He was the first among the descendants of Ya’aqov to marry outside his kinship, choosing a woman from another Dravidian group—the Midianites. The Midianites were descendants of Midian, a son of Avraham (Abraham) and his wife Qəṭūrā. The modern-day Ethiopians and Arab tribes living south of Israel are believed to be descendants of Avraham through Qəṭūrā. Moshe married Sīppōrā, a Midianite woman, whom he met at a well while she and her sisters were watering their father’s flock. When other shepherds tried to drive them away, Moshe intervened, defended them, and helped water their flocks. Their father, Yīṯrō (Jethro), invited Moshe to his home, offered him hospitality, and later gave him Sīppōrā in marriage. Her love for Moshe was so profound that she did not oppose his departure when he experienced a realization to liberate the Israelites from Egyptian bondage.

A third example is Shimshon (Samson), who lived between 1119 BC and 1079 BC. By this time, Aryans had occupied the southern coast of Canaan, which later became Philistia. These Aryans had migrated from the Aegean region. Shimshon fell deeply in love with Dəlīlā (Delilah), a Philistine woman he met in Gaza market selling eggs and knick-knacks. *Infatuated with her, he performed feats of strength in the marketplace to impress her. However, unknown to him, Dəlīlā was an Aryan spy, tasked with discovering the secret of his strength. The Tamils have a saying, “யாதும் ஊரே யாவரும் கேளிர்” (Every place is my homeland, and all people are my kin.), which suggests that Shimshon did not distinguish between Philistines and Israelites when he fell in love. Tragically, his trust was misplaced—Dəlīlā betrayed him, revealing the secret of his strength to the Aryan Philistines, who then blinded and imprisoned him.

The Shift from Love Marriages to Arranged Marriages

The Neo-Assyrian army invaded and destroyed the northern kingdom of Israel around 722 BC. The Aryan king Sargon II captured Samaria after a three-year siege. An inscription found in the ruins of Sargon’s palace at Nineveh states that 27,290 people from Samaria were taken into captivity. Over time, as these Israelites lived among the Aryans, their marital customs changed, leading to the introduction of the dowry system.

One such example is the story of Toviyah (Tobit), a wealthy Israelite who was among those deported to Nineveh in 722 / 721 BC. Before his exile, Toviyah entrusted half of his wealth to a relative named Gaval (Gabael) for safekeeping. In Nineveh, he married Hannah, and they had a son, Tobijah. As an act of defiance against the cruel treatment of Israelite prisoners, Toviyah secretly buried the bodies of those who had died from forced labor. Unfortunately, due to a botched treatment, he became blind.

Toviyah later sent his son Tobijah to retrieve the money from Gaval. At Ecbatana (modern Hamadān, Iran), Tobijah met Rəʿūʾēl (Raguel) and his wife Edna, one of his relatives. Upon learning that they had a daughter named Sara, Tobijah’s companion suggested that he marry her. Rəʿūʾēl, overhearing their conversation, agreed to the match. *When Tobijah bid farewell to his parents-in-law with his wife, Rəʿūʾēl gifted Tobijah half of his possessions, including servants, oxen, sheep, donkeys, camels, clothing, silver, and other valuables.

This marked a significant transition in Dravidian society—from a tradition that once upheld love marriages to one that embraced arranged marriages and introduced the dowry system.

Read: Love Beyond Boundaries: The Dravidian Legacy of Romance and Freedom

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Dr. J Ravikumar Stephen G., is the Founder, Dravidianism Revival Centre, Peace Coalition of the People of South Asia, and Sages of the New Covenant. He is also the Presiding Bishop of General Convention of the Episcopal Churches in Southern and South Eastern Asia.  The Dravidianism Revival Centre is located in Badlapur, Greater Thane Maharashtra, India.

The post Transformation of Love Marriages into Arranged Marriages first appeared on Sindh Courier.

By Bishop Dr. J Ravikumar Stephen G.

Celebrate Love: A Dravidian Legacy

Love has always been central to Dravidian civilization – a society that embraced passion, personal choice, and the sanctity of human relationships. Tamil Sangam literature, renowned for its poetic expressions of romance, portrays love as a force that transcends social barriers, uniting couples based on mutual affection rather than rigid societal norms.

Dr. B R Ambedkar recognized the profound cultural and linguistic identity of the Dravidians, tracing their influence across the Indian subcontinent. He noted that Tamil was once the language of the Nagas _(natives of South Asia)_ across India, later displaced in the North due to political assimilation. In Dravidian tradition, the natural attraction between man and woman—the very essence of life—was never suppressed but celebrated as part of nature’s divine order.

The Transformation of Marriage Practices under Aryan Influence

With the Aryanization of South Asia by Indo-Parthian, Indo-Greek, and Indo-Aryan rulers, the concept of marriage underwent a significant transformation. Several new marital customs emerged, shaping societal norms and redefining the union between man and woman.

1. Arranged Marriages in Vedic Aryan Society

In early Vedic times, marriages were primarily arranged based on *’varna* (caste)’ and ‘gotra (lineage)’ considerations. The key characteristics of these marriages included:

-Parental Involvement: The selection of a groom was the primary responsibility of the bride’s father.

Kanyādāna (Gift of the Daughter): The bride was ceremonially “given away” to a groom deemed suitable, symbolizing her transition into her husband’s family.

Horoscope Matching: Astrological compatibility played a crucial role, particularly in later Vedic traditions.

Dowry and Gifts: While dowry was not originally a requirement, the exchange of gifts was common.

2. Swayamvara – A Controlled Choice

The ‘Swayamvara’ (meaning “self-choice”) was an ancient marriage practice where a royal princess had the right to choose her husband from a gathering of eligible suitors. However, while it allowed women some autonomy, the selection process was often influenced by ‘political considerations’, ‘familial alliances’, and the ‘suitors’ abilities’. A notable example is ‘Draupadi’s Swayamvara’, which was structured to favor Arjuna, demonstrating how family influence remained decisive even in so-called “self-choice” marriages.

3. The Eight Types of Marriages in Vedic Culture (Manusmriti 3.21-26)

The Vedic tradition classified marriages into eight types, each varying in social acceptability and moral standing:

1. Brahma Marriage: The ideal arranged marriage, where a father gives his daughter to a virtuous groom without expecting anything in return.
2. Daiva Marriage: The bride is given to a priest as part of a religious offering.
3. Arsha Marriage: The groom presents a token gift (often cattle) to the bride’s father.
4. Prajapatya Marriage: Similar to Brahma marriage but emphasizing duty over affection.
5. Gandharva Marriage: A marriage based on mutual love and consent, without family arrangements (akin to modern love marriages)
6. Asura Marriage: The groom offers wealth or valuables to acquire the bride (considered improper but practiced)
7. Rakshasa Marriage: The bride is abducted by force, as seen in Krishna’s abduction of Rukmini.
8. Paisacha Marriage: The most condemned form, involving coercion or deceit.

The ‘Aryan influence’ reshaped India’s cultural landscape, reinforcing hierarchical and caste-based constraints on marriage.

Love and Marriage in Sangam Tamil Literature

To understand Dravidian marriage traditions, we must turn to ‘Tamil Sangam literature’, which offers a stark contrast to the rigid structures of Vedic traditions. Unlike Vedic texts, Sangam poetry is rich with references to love, romance, and marriages based on ‘personal choice’. These poems celebrate the emotional depth, spontaneity, and mutual affection of love marriages.

Love and Elopement (Kalavu) in Sangam Poetry

Sangam literature often portrays ‘young lovers meeting in secret, falling in love, and eloping’. The following poetic examples illustrate various aspects of love marriages:

Kuruntokai (Poem 40)

You and I, how do we know each other?

Yet, like rainfall on red earth,

Our hearts in love merged into one.

Natrinai (Kapilar, Kurinji Thinai)

Truthful in speech and eternal in sweet friendship, he does not know parting from my arms.

My friendship with my esteemed man is great, like sweet honey made in the tall sandal trees, by bees that collect cool pollen from lotus flowers.

Just as the world cannot live without water, I cannot exist without him…

These poems reflect the ‘autonomy Tamil women had’ in selecting their husbands based on love.

Love Cannot Be Silenced

Across the Earth, the cycle of life continues in both the ‘plant and animal kingdoms’, ensuring fertility and sustenance. This process is guided by the natural attraction between male and female—a ‘fundamental principle of existence’ that aligns with nature’s divine order. ‘In this context, lust is not inherently wrong; rather, within the sacred bond of committed marriage, it transforms into something divine.’

In ancient times, Aryan kings ‘discouraged marriage’, believing that ‘unmarried men made better warriors’. A millennium ago, as ‘wars consumed human civilization’, people gradually lost touch with the ‘passion and artistry of love’. To preserve and educate future generations, societies carved ‘intricate erotic sculptures’ into temple steeples, such as those in the ‘Konark Sun Temple’, serving as ‘visual lessons on love and intimacy’.

Non-Aryan Bhauma-Kara dynasty ruled Kalinga in the 8th, 9th, and 10th centuries. To make inroads into the plains of Kalinga, the Somavamshi dynasty ruled coastal fought several wars, till they conquered them. Guides at the _’Konark temple complex’ narrate how, after the War, a vast number of soldiers perished, leading to a severe scarcity of men in Kalinga. The ‘sculptures within the temple complex depict a variety of intimate acts and sexual positions’ (refer to the second image), meant to educate and preserve the tradition of love and procreation.”

The origins of ‘Valentine’s Day’ share a similar spirit—when ‘Emperor Claudius II of Rome banned marriages’, fearing that ‘married men were less effective in battle’, ‘St Valentine defied the decree and secretly officiated weddings, upholding the sanctity of love.

Yet, even today, the ‘celebration of love faces resistance’. Every year, couples encounter ‘hostility simply for expressing their affection’. ‘Valentine’s Day’, a ‘global symbol of love’, has become a battleground where fundamentalist forces attempt to ‘suppress the natural right to love’.

Love is the ‘foundation of human connection’, a ‘force that unites souls and strengthens societies’. The ‘Dravidian Gond community’ still practices the ‘concept of ‘Kalavu’, preserving the ‘tradition of love-based unions.

This Valentine’s Day, let us reclaim this spirit. *’Until we establish a Dravidian Day of Love in our cultural calendar, let us proudly celebrate St Valentine’s Day as a testament to our enduring belief in love, choice, and togetherness.’

Among the Dravidians, there is no caste, creed, or religious divide.* ‘Declare your love with pride’. ‘Stand for the freedom to choose your partner’. ‘Uphold the Dravidian spirit of love, passion, and commitment’.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day!’

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Dr. J Ravikumar Stephen G., is the Founder, Dravidianism Revival Centre, Peace Coalition of the People of South Asia, and Sages of the New Covenant. He is also the Presiding Bishop of General Convention of the Episcopal Churches in Southern and South Eastern Asia.  The Dravidianism Revival Centre is located in Badlapur, Greater Thane Maharashtra, India.

Read: Beyond Nilakanta Sastri: Revisiting Dravidian and Aryan Narratives

The post Love Beyond Boundaries: The Dravidian Legacy of Romance and Freedom first appeared on Sindh Courier.