The story is based on conversation between some college friends about the difference between true friendship and family bonds

Shuhban Ali Siyal

On a cloudy day, Mr. Muzamil visited Muhammad Faqeer’s small tea shop in Nawabshah along with some friends to enjoy a cup of tea and fresh his mind. As he entered the shop, a familiar face caught his attention. Mr. Tootal, a college fellow of their days at a college in Karachi, was seen there.

Muzamil: (Entering the tea shop) Hi! Tootal! Is it you? What a pleasant surprise! I am really surprised to see you here. What’s up?

Tootal (smiling): “All is Okay, Muzamil. How about you?”

Muzamil: (while taking a seat) – Everything is fine. Long time no see, where were you?

Tootal: “I am still pursuing studies in the Philosophy Department at Karachi University. And you, what have you been up to these days?”

Muzamil: “I hit the books at Shaheed Benazir Bhutto University. Now, I’m just working on the university’s projects and some other engagements. Still planning to go out with friends for project work.”

Tootal: (passing a cup of tea to him) “Oh, these friends of yours, are they your friends or just supporters?”

Muzamil: “(a bit surprised, with hesitation) Of course, they are friends because we study together and collaborate with each other on projects.”

Tootal: “Studying together or collaborating on something! Does it justify to call them friends?

Muzamil: Maybe yes.

Tootal: “Studying together or collaborating on something doesn’t necessarily make them friends. They are not friends but rather call them fellows. Friends are those who stand by you in both good and bad times. When you need help or when they need your support, that’s when the true value of friendship is tested. Muzamil, do you remember? In college, we had so many classmates who used to sit together, live around, eat together, and have fun. But now, where are they? They were with you because they needed you and you needed them at that time, but those days are gone and they are no more in contact with you, you know why it happened, because they don’t have enough interest in you.”

Muzamil: “Well, Tootal, I believe my friends are different. They make me feel like family, and I trust them just like my own family.”

Tootal: “That’s a point where we are often mistaken. Let me explain. There’s a saying, ‘Blood is thicker than water,’ where family and friendship bonds are compared to the bonds of water and blood. Blood has density, whereas water doesn’t. If you have a glass filled with honey or blood and another with water and you just throw them on the ground, you’ll see that the water spreads more, while the blood remains concentrated due to its density. Similarly, love relationships may form quickly and have a strong attraction, but they often lack endurance, leading them to end quickly. Friends might feel closer than brothers in good times, but when difficulties arise, they may fade away, while family stands by you no matter what may come, and that’s where the true strength lies.”

Muzamil: “But Tootal, it is said that a friend is greater than a brother.”

Tootal: “You are right. A friend is like a diamond, whereas a brother is like gold. When we assess their value, a diamond is much more expensive than gold. However, if a diamond breaks once, it can never be mended, but even if gold breaks ten times, it can still be fixed.”

Muzamil: “Well, Tootal, you’re right. I understand now.”

At this point, another friend Mujeeb said, “Tootal is absolutely right. Let me share my experience with you, Muzamil:

“In a person’s life, many people come and go, but there are some who make us feel like they are part of our family. During my university days, my two friends, Shafiq and Seema, were very close to me. We studied, enjoyed, and had fun together; they felt like my own family. I supported them wholeheartedly, even going to great lengths for their sake. I shared all my joys, sorrows, and accomplishments with them, and they did the same to me. However, they were rarely there for me during my hardships. I shared all my happiness with these friends, but one day my heart ached when I realized that these friends did not value me equally. They enjoyed the good times with me but did not stand by me during my difficult moments.”

“Once, I fell ill and had to hand over some of my projects, work, and responsibilities to Shafiq. After some time, I started feeling like a burden to him. Shafiq made some excuses and eventually left me, making me realize that this friendship wasn’t truly like family to me.”

“After recovering from my illness, I decided to test Seema’s friendship. Upon observing her behavior, I offered some criticism. Criticizing others sometimes is not about finding faults in them but rather understanding what lies in their hearts, which they express when facing criticism. Then I realized that Seema was seeking a better opportunity and had decided to leave me, using my criticism as an excuse, because she had found other friends.”

“When people find new friends, the old ones often get left behind.”

“I was stunned by Seema’s attitude. People may get along well with you 99 times, but if you make one mistake, they may abandon you, while family members, overlooking the 99 times, will show solidarity with you based on that one occasion. During difficult times, I always supported my friends. However, when I faced misfortune, they were not there for me.”

“Where did this friend disappear? In family relations, we find support in such situations. Friendships are often temporary, while family bonds remain enduring,” Mujeeb concluded.

Tootal: (Offering biscuits) “Here, have some, while you contemplate. Life teaches us many lessons, my friend.”

Muzamil: “That must have been tough for you, Mujeeb.”

Mujeeb: “It was. But it taught me the reality of friendships. True friends stay with you even in difficult times. They may leave you once, but they’ll be back when they realize their mistake. On the other hand, family members are always there for me, unconditionally.”

Tootal: “Generally, the so-called friends leave when they no longer find any use for you, and they return when they need something from you.”

Muzamil: “You’re right. I’ve learned a valuable lesson today. Thank you.”

Tootal: (Smiling) – “You’re welcome. Don’t forget, life is full of lessons.”

Muzimal: “Tootal and Mujeeb, thank you so much for sharing such insightful thoughts with me. Now, I must leave. I have to meet some friends.”

Tootal: Friends?

Muzamil: Hahaha. Sorry, fellows. Goodbye!”

I left them with new found wisdom and a deeper understanding of the difference between true friendships and family bonds. Friendship might seem intense, but family stands the test of time and remains a constant source of support and love.

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