Evil is manifest in our society not in the form of villains, or killers only. There are a few situations in which evil works in the form of social customs
Dr. Jernail S. Anand
Evil is manifest in our society not in the form of villains, or killers only. Here are a few situations in which evil works in the form of social customs, family duties, and how elders bulldoze the young people into obedience, and then, how life cycle gets poisoned and young men and women become victims of apathy, and collective callousness of a society.
The situation
A growing up young girl is not allowed to keep up her studies. Her mother is often telling her to get ready for marriage. And the mother also tells her to think of a particular boy she knows from her own family.
The elder man in the family, the elder woman of the family, the mother of the girl, finds a boy and ask the girl to say yes.
What is the ethical position here? Are they acting upright? Should the girl say yes? Or no? Can she say No? And the boy too, can he say No? How much pressure can be exerted on young men and women to marry?
The major issue involved here is the idea of freedom. Why can’t the girl be allowed to carry out her studies if she does not want to marry? Why can’t she be allowed to do something good for her career? Or for the society?
Ethical Question
Should we grow up our young kids simply to marry? Simply to get settled in life, earn their livelihood, give birth to their kids, and then, spend their remaining time trying to settle them in life?
Ethically speaking, a man or a woman should have entire freedom over his/her own life. He should not be forced into marriage. If they want to continue with their career, we should allow them. In fact, the most unethical stand is of the parents who wean their kids away from creative pursuits and force them into kid-making.
The Higher Assignment
It has to be remembered that man is sent here for some higher assignment. The issue of marriage, job, kids – have been created by human society. And human society regulates them. The living mores are collectively called moral values. Men have been given higher capabilities and these need to be cultivated to the best of their abilities during the best years of their lives: from 15 to 40. But our society distracts their minds towards marriage, and they end up producing one or two kids by the time they are 40 and, needless to say, 95 out of hundred are having a rocky going with their partners. This is the most productive period according to gods, and they want great work from the young men, whereas society, in its wisdom to prevent sexual starvation, or free sex as in animals, forces them into organized relationships like marriage. Society tells them to keep busy in making their livelihood. No one can question it. It is not entirely unethical. Because, all our educational institutions are bent upon making men job worthy.
READ: LOVE: THE HAPPY NIGHTMARE FOR COUPLES ACROSS TIMES
But the unethical aspects of this proposition get into operation when we think, much against the will of gods, that after job, your job is over. Now, get married and settle down. Here, we forget, man is an agent of god and he must utilize the higher skills, he has been endowed with, and work for human welfare. Getting married, having kids, settling down, and then, live from hand to mouth – is not the brief of god for man.
The Collective Error
Here, we have erred collectively. Was it Devil himself who had told Eve to have a family also, and then, bring his sons and daughters in the cataclysm of family rearing? Familizing was a central point in the beginnings of the civilization, when having more and more mouths was the need of the hour, but when men gained higher consciousness, they still pursued with this dream of living from hand to mouth. No one can question the idea of having a family, then getting jobs, or creating opportunities to earn so that mouths can be fed. But, ethically, this is the least that is expected of mankind. Not the highest.
The highest that is expected of mankind is: having a healthy attitude towards life – a healthy living, healthy thoughts, a life filled with joy, caring for happiness of others, working for the welfare of mankind, using your abilities and time for creative pursuits in order to ensure a better life for our progeny. There is no space for corruption, no space for grabbing.
And marriage? Let me state it very clearly. Marriage was needed to satisfy the sexual urges of young people. And provide protection to women. Now, they do not need protection. So, this institution which is giving heart-quakes to our society can be given the go by. Marriage must not stop the creative march of youth. They can say no to it, delay it, or they should be permitted to have friends, rather than wives or husbands, to live with. What a person needs is freedom. He/she needs peace of mind. They need to work for themselves. Ethically, we can add that they need to develop their own personalities and capabilities so that all that lies within flowers out. It would be responding to the diktats of gods.
Situation 2
If you have married somebody, and within a month or so, you discover that you cannot live with your partner. What should be the ethical stance here?
My focus will be on the word ‘discover’. Why you discover it after a month or so? How can you be so callous to marry a person whom you do not know? Ethically speaking, nobody should be forced into marriage with an unknown partner. Marriage is a dangerous word. One cannot hazard a situation like this, unless pretty sure of the other person. So, the ethical stance is: separate. Do not try to put up with a man you cannot live with. Better, you had met him, dated him, or her, and remained together at least for a year or so, to know him or her. The way people marry their sons and daughters off is entirely flawed. That is why, marriage has become a synonym for disaster. The best of their lives is spent in the courts, trying to separate from each other. And the surprise of surprises is: after they are separated, they again go for marriage. To err is human, after all.
READ: THE GRAMMAR OF THE LOST SPACE
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Dr. Jernail Singh Anand is President of the International Academy of Ethics. [ethicsacademy.co.in]. He is author of 161 plus books in English poetry, fiction, non-fiction, philosophy and spirituality. He was awarded Charter of Morava, the great Award by Serbian Writers Association, Belgrade and his name was engraved on the Poets’ Rock in Serbia. Recently, he was awarded Doctor of Philosophy [Honoris Causa] by the University of Engineering and Management, Jaipur. His most phenomenal book is Lustus: The Prince of Darkness [first epic of the Mahkaal Trilogy]. Recently, he organized an International Conference in Contemporary Ethics in Chandigarh. Email: anandjs55@yahoo.com
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