No one should ask for a helping hand; a person who has awareness that he needs help is quite sufficient to be his own help.
Never complain about what you allow – John Calvin Maxwell
By Aisha Saeed
Since a couple of days, I have been observing/experiencing quiet strange thing. As weirdly initiated as it closed or should I say crept by because it is still swirling through my mind. What actually happened would be hard to explain but I must share why it needed to happen and its VAEs (Value Adding Effects) on my cognitive performance – which is quite certain for a person who always appreciates head over heart.
We human beings are born with built-in mechanisms (Nature/Beliefs) and react in circumstances accordingly. I believe, we have to conquer discipline in life by balancing this mechanism with other human beings; simply it’s all about Acceptance and Adjustments. The more the human being is conscious the more he reacts/feels on things, so I am.
The need part was, a person, long ago about few aspects of his life, started criticizing about himself; this constant conflict in his mind depressed him and led to feeling demotivated in a lot more stuff of his life. When such things remained unaddressed for long he got stressed. Stress is the outcome of two different thoughts a person is holding in his mind for the same object/subject. When a person’s thoughts contradict a desire, the person needs to choose either his thought or the desire because it is quite impossible to drive down two different paths at the same time. At this point, the person might feel stuck and need external help – someone else who is unconcerned with your being and less judgmental about you; someone, who is open to listening, and relatable to the same circumstances to some extent, along with the provision of a possible instant solution.
Now the VAEs part – it is extremely hard for an introvert to open up in front of others when they choose someone to share their issues and seek help to get rid of stagnation. They speak out everything with utmost honesty likewise a patient to a doctor or an innocent to his counsel. They expect not to be treated as suspicious and untrustworthy till the end of the conversation. On top of it, no one ever likes to expect the helpmate discuss your potentials on the basis of such disastrous counseling/meeting and…! …And that silence at the end of the discussion, a silence seemed to be louder than thunders while gazing at that person (silly caged soul). It was very distressing for me to see the pain coming out of each tissue of that person’s body; I wish that person would know, he is going to be stuck in another whirl in order to get rid of the existing one.
Being an observer, I reached the conclusion that no one should ask for a helping hand, a person who has awareness that he needs help is quite sufficient to be his own help. Let yourself fall and rise on your own, either you win or lose, at least you don’t have to pay credits to someone or blame about. I mean why address his pain to others and let them channelize this pain to their peers and trusted ones, I don’t think so it will end one’s sufferings but will surely increase anxiety and chaos within.
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Aisha Saeed is student of law and former lecturer at University of Karachi
