I set my soul on fire
Alisher Fayzullaev
He was born in 1988 in Navoi, Uzbekistan; graduated from the Faculty of Journalism of UzMU, and writes and translates short stories.
Game
Like a wild child
Whistling
And lighting it on fire
An ant’s nest
I have played
I set my soul on fire
Very vile
Very powerless
Very insolent
Was my face
That I’ve known for a long time
Who do I look like?
There’s no one like me in the family!
It’s very nice
When your soul is
Like a soft toy
You squeeze it
You can crush your soul
Until you get bored
Of the new game
To the point of unconsciousness
Until you lose your sanity
Till your sanity comes back to life
You keep minting without a thought!
Then
If all the truth and all the lies
That you have felt,
Consistently
In detail
Or manage to put it
On paper
And that vague mood
Put on yourself
Like an old jacket
In the heat of summer!
In any case
Trying to drown in a bathtub
Filled to the brim with water
Into which you can barely fit your feet
Pleasure
If it’s a game.
***
Empty
Empty
Room
Empty
Home
Empty
Dishes
Empty
Bowl
Cup
Teapot
Sink
Empty
Street
Cars
Shops
Trees
Air
People
Empty
Also
Imagination
Dreams
Wishes
Memory
Heart
Empty
Empty
Mind
Empty
Breast
Empty
Nerves
My world
Is going to be empty
Space is
Swallowing
Pulling
My legs
To the hell
My stars
All my hopes
Which look like light
Empty
Empty
Empty
***
Cold
Cold!
Cold…
January planted flower
At houses roof, where
Sun is trying to thaw
People`s coldness heart
But you
Pouring into coffee cigar`s smoke
Or have a smoke which smells coffee
You smile
You wait
Message
Message
***
Fear
I have always fear
It is a fear of loosing
Yesterday I lost
One of my key
Actually another
Was in my pocket
I could make it
But I try to find it
I called
I searched my pockets
It was no
Blackness
Then I found it on another clothes
Today I knowingly
Lost
Then I run
Searched all rooms
What was it?
How was it
Always I saved
Why I couldn’t find
I overthrow inside myself
There was nothing
Except the fear
Then I went to ditch
Ever I lost here my phone
I hurled
I chucked fear
Far away
For not to be afraid of losing!
________________
Translated from Uzbek to English by Nodirabegim Ibrokhimova
