It has been observed that the women enjoy their freedom and spend time with other womenfolk at the shrines
Sidra Shaikh
There is a shrine near my house that I passed by since childhood. I always would see a number of men and women visiting the shrine, where there are separate arrangements for them to offer prayers. Having no strict rules for visitors, the people used to come and pray on their own free will at the shrine which remains open all the time.
The women’s area is located on the left side of the shrine, and it consists of a hall-like room connected to a small courtyard with a washroom and an ablution area. There are three doors to the women’s area – one that opens towards the shrine, and two others lead to a point where men’s and women’s areas meet.
It is said that there is a Saint who is alive. Special Zikr gathering (محفل) is held from Thursday night to Friday night, and people perform continuous Zikr (remembrance of Allah) during this time. They recite the Kalimas “Allah Ho” and “La Ilaha Illallah” along with some other Kalimas. Apart from this, there is also arrangement of langar (free food), Dua (prayer), and Durood (blessings) at the shrine, like at other shrines.
Time passes quickly, and as I move forward, got more exposure to society. It was surprising for me to notice a clear difference in the number of boys and girls in the educational institutions. The large number of women at shrines and the low number of women in educational institutions were proof of the significant preference of our society for religious practices over education. This is a very unfortunate situation and it needs to be changed.
We live in a society where the influence of feudal system on women still exists even after moving from feudal system to capitalism, and living in the 21st century. Our men want to scare and intimidate a women and keep them behind the veil of his name and honor. Attempts are made to keep women away from politics, business and other spheres of society. Politics is called a dirty game, business is considered a man’s job, and society is called unsafe for women. Ultimately, the purpose of all this is to prevent women from becoming aware and to stop their socialization.
No matter how beautiful the cage may be, it is still a prison
It is believed by many people that women become rebellious when they step out of their homes. Because once a woman is aware of her legal and religious rights, then no one can manipulate her. This is also the reason why our education system is plagued with gender biases. It is true that every soul needs freedom, but the patriarchy system in Pakistan has reduced women to the status of men’s property in their own homes. No matter how beautiful the cage may be, it is still a prison.
We are also aware of such families who trust their sisters, daughters, and try to serve the country by making them empowered. They make them independent. But my query is that if a place where restrictions are imposed, do women have to tolerate them or do they find a way out? If they need to find a way out, what is that way?
Women are given a kingdom in which they cannot breathe or take any steps for themselves
Have you noted that no matter how much a woman studies, she is still considered inferior someway? Women are considered the leader of the house, but the demands of this leadership make her forget that she first and foremost is a mother, a sister, a daughter, and a wife. She can breathe, but she still lives in a suffocated atmosphere.
Women are given a kingdom in which they cannot breathe or take any steps for themselves. They are suffocated by the burden of relationships and responsibilities. In all of these conditions, the only door that a house wife can find open is Shrine.
Women are not allowed to go for shopping every day. Men also do not allow them to go to parks, malls, or outing places freely, but I have observed that the shrine is the place for the women to have the free breathe. I have researched about the people around the roadside shrines and the activities taking place there and tried to find out what function a roadside shrine plays for the surrounding population.
As an anthropologist, I focus on the gray area while avoiding the black and white aspects of the picture. During my six day visit to a shrine, I learned that the shrine, we always see from the perspective of good and bad activities, particularly serves women. While talking to the women present at the shrine, I came to know that a roadside shrine is a unique place for a housewife where she feels free and peaceful. It is a place where she can take time out for herself and have a conversation with people of her age. A woman told me that they visit the shrine 2 to 3 days a week to get relief from their household chores and to have a chance to talk with their peers. The thing that inspired me more about this shrine is the attitude of male volunteer who works as a guard at both main doors of the shrine.
Even in Hinduism, women also have the same experience with temple as in Islamic society a women feels for shrine. Anna Charlotta Osterberg from the University of Bergen has also researched on this topic and wrote an article titled ‘The Role of Roadside Shrines in the Everyday Lives of Female Devotees in Mumbai,’ published in the South Asia Multidisciplinary Academic Journal in 2018. She writes, “Time spent at the shrine appeared to be the only time spent outside the home.”
The 75-year-old lady at the shrine caught my attention. She was weaving fans from date palm leaves with her wrinkled hands. She is known as Tasbeeh Wali Khala. After talking to her, I learnt that she has been living there for the past 12 years. Her son left her at the shrine like unwanted goods after his wife kept insisting. In the beginning, he used to visit her every week and leave some money, but one day he asked for forgiveness and never returned. The lady said that she had many options where she could live with her family or with any nearby relatives, but she chose to live at the shrine because she couldn’t find the peace she feels here anywhere else.
“It was 2012 when my son left me at this shrine. At that time the mother of Saint was alive, so I used to stay with her. But when she passed away in 2014, I started making fans and Tasbeeh and rented a small room because women are not allowed to spend the night at the shrine,” she told. “There are some conditions that allow staying at the shrine like spirit possession. I sleep there at night and stay at the shrine during the day.”
One day I was at the shrine with my acquaintance, and I saw three women looking at clothes. I found out that they were looking to buy clothes. I talked to the women named Farzana, who was selling the clothes.
Farzana told me that she has only one daughter who is in the 7th grade. Her husband’s income is not enough to cover the household expenses, and that is why she sells women’s clothes in the evening. There are more women visitors in the evening, so she can sell more clothes. She does this work for her daughter’s educational expenses. Otherwise, her husband would have sent their daughter to a government school. Farzana had tears in her eyes and said that she has never even seen the school. She wants her daughter to receive a good education.
I asked to farzana why she doesn’t bring her daughter to help her in selling. I asked this question to know what a young girl’s mother thinks about the shrine regarding her daughter. She replied, “My husband tells me that I can go if I want, but don’t take our daughter with you. People have negative opinions about shrines, and that is why he doesn’t permit me to take my daughter with me.”
“I know myself well, but my daughter is young and my husband fears she might get involved in bad things,” woman said.
“My husband does not allow me to go anywhere far, but because this is a nearby shrine, he allows me to come here and sell the clothes brought by my sister,” she said.
People from different areas come to the shrines during annual Urs (festival) or on other occasions. But a roadside shrine is a means for women living nearby to enjoy their freedom and spend time with other womenfolk. I have seen women there washing utensils and sheets for the community kitchen, and even sweeping the floor happily. The happiness on their faces is like that of a bird that has been freed from its cage, even if it’s for a short time. Instead of objecting to women visiting shrines, we should look at the system of oppression that makes a woman feel like she is only a mother, sister, or daughter in order to forget her own identity. No one recognizes her as a living, breathing human being and instead keeps her busy with household chores.
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Sidra Shaikh is BS third-Year student of anthropology at the Department of Anthropology and Archaeology, University of Sindh, Jamshoro, Sindh Pakistan.
