Parents must realize their duty towards their sons and daughters. It is poverty of wisdom and foresight if we end up scuttling their progress and growth as human beings, which is a cumulative loss to human society.
Dr. Jernail Singh Anand
How sons and daughters should be brought up, parents are very touchy in this matter. They use all their powers, even if they have to go for loans, to offer them a world of surety and security. They cannot be faulted in their passion to make all the provisions for the happy stay of their offspring. But some obvious facts that we have to contend with are that the over-protected and pampered sons and daughters of the rich are worst examples of humanity. They have power and wealth which they squander and make life difficult for people who want to live life with dignity.
If a father is a great painter, can he make his son too a painter, and at that, great too like him? A business man can bequeath his organization to his son, but has he made the son equal to the task he is going to inherit? We see great organizations and establishments which disappeared when they passed into the hands of crafty or craft-less offspring. We have this equation before us: Wealthy parents have sons and daughters who squander wealth, and prove good for nothing and the establishment crumbles as soon as the father is gone. We also have another equation. When the parents are financially weak, and suffer indignities in society because of their poverty, the sons and daughters work hard, and rise to high positions. These are far better specimens of humanity, who have seen poverty and who have struggled hard to gain position in society.
Creating Artificial Scarcity
I feel every father who has wealth should not lavish it on his son or daughter. He must create an artificial scarcity for them. Let them feel the pinch, and work hard. There is nothing bad in it if he sends his son to work and earn his livelihood, so that he knows the value of being useful to society, and learns the art of living with others. This is a world society which we all inherit, and we must know how to share this commonwealth of joy and pain, which are shared for us all. We cannot create young men and women who know everything of plenty, and have no knowledge of penury.
When I see fathers doting on their sons, and mothers killing their daughters, I feel how sinful we are. We are not ourselves, we are a part of human society, where we are expected to add to its well-being. If we are centered on our self, or our family, it is a foolish exercise. And it is being practised on an astronomical scale. Parents are worried only about their sons, and little less for their daughters, provide them every joy, every amenity. So far so good. But what is the result of this doting? Particularly, for the society in which we are living? We are giving to society men and women with twisted sensibilities, men who could not grow to their potential, people who were made to choose to be parasites.
If a man has to work hard in life, face many struggles, and suffer so many wants and losses, he becomes humble and wise too. But, when he stops all these forces of correction from his son, and gives him a protective atmosphere, it means that son will never rise to those heights to which his father had risen. When we stop our sons and daughters from facing rough weather, [to an extent, it can be excused] but in order to make them men and women in the real sense, so that they could develop their own capabilities to the maximum, they need to be in the ocean as an independent entity.
Protection destroys their potential. You can just cast a look around and see, how my kids who are under protection, they have to be helped in getting jobs, in staying in jobs, and cannot take independent decisions. It is parasitism of the worst kind. Parents must realize their duty towards their sons and daughters. It is poverty of wisdom and foresight if we end up scuttling their progress and growth as human beings, which is a cumulative loss to human society.
Read: Fight to Endure, Gift to Others
________________________
Hailing from Chandigarh, India, The author is Laureate of Seneca Award, Charter of Morava, Franz Kafka and Maxim Gorky Awards, and President, International Academy of Ethics
