Ghosting and Silent Treatment – A Mental Disorder

Ghosting occurs when someone cuts off all communication without explanation while the silent treatment is deliberate ignoring or refusing to engage with another person

Debasree Chakraborti

The human mind is deeper and more impenetrable than an ocean. It is ever-changing, filled with profound and endless thoughts that no one can fully comprehend. If one were to write about the human mind, even a lifetime of continuous writing would not be enough. Therefore, discussing small aspects in a concise manner will make it easier for me to explain and for the reader to understand.

Today, I will discuss “ghosting” and “silent treatment.”

At my home, Tina has been working as a housekeeper for a long time. For the past few days, I have noticed that she has been feeling very down. Usually, she talks to me while working, but seeing her suddenly so upset pained me deeply. One day, after she finished her work, I asked her to sit beside me and inquired about the reason for her sadness. She told me that a few months ago, she met a boy on Facebook. As they started talking, they gradually felt attracted to each other. They began conversing regularly. But one day, the boy suddenly stopped responding. Sometimes he wouldn’t talk for two days, and then on the third day, he would send a message. Occasionally, he would reply continuously, while at other times, he would stay online for hours without responding to her messages. Tina spends her entire day staring at Messenger, waiting for the boy to reply to her messages. He’s online but doesn’t respond to her. Yet, they are in a relationship. Then, after a few days, the boy himself starts talking again.

After listening to everything Tina said, I told her, “Tina, you’re a victim of ghosting. A mentally unstable person is controlling your mind and emotions. Get out of this while you still can—there’s no future in such relationships.”

That was Tina’s story. In many cases, we see similar behavior within families and workplaces. Some individuals, who are usually very communicative, suddenly go silent. Relationships that are deeply personal and intimate suddenly turn into professional interactions. Then, after a few days, that same person tries to become overly affectionate again.

What’s the reason behind such behavior? Is humanity becoming increasingly prone to psychological issues? Because of these troubled individuals, even emotionally healthy people are beginning to feel unwell.

In today’s times, terms like “Ghosting” and “silent treatment” are frequently discussed. Today, we will delve into these two psychological phenomena and their impact on human behavior.

Ghosting — the sudden and unexplained end to communication by one party in a relationship — has become a common term in the world of modern dating. Whether you’ve experienced it or unintentionally done it to someone else, ghosting can leave a profound emotional impact on everyone involved. In this post, we’ll explore what ghosting is, why it happens, and how to navigate its aftermath.

What Is Ghosting?

Ghosting occurs when someone cuts off all communication without explanation. It often happens in romantic relationships, but it’s not limited to them; friendships and professional relationships can experience ghosting too. The hallmark of ghosting is the abruptness—one day, everything seems fine, and the next, silence.

Why Do People Ghost?

Understanding why ghosting happens can provide clarity and, in some cases, closure. While it’s never easy to be on the receiving end, there are often underlying reasons for the behavior:

1. Avoidance of Conflict: Some people find confrontation uncomfortable and prefer to disengage rather than have a difficult conversation.
2. Emotional Immaturity: Ghosting often stems from a lack of emotional maturity or the inability to handle complex emotions.
3. Loss of Interest: Sometimes, people ghost because they’ve lost interest and don’t know how to express it honestly.
4. Overwhelmed by Circumstances: Life can be chaotic, and some individuals ghost because they feel overwhelmed by personal issues unrelated to the relationship.
5. Safety Concerns: In some cases, ghosting may be a way to escape a situation that feels unsafe or toxic.

The Emotional Impact of Ghosting

Being ghosted can leave you feeling confused, rejected, and even questioning your self-worth. It’s a unique form of pain because it lacks closure—you’re left with unanswered questions and an open-ended narrative. For those who ghost, there can also be feelings of guilt or regret, especially if the decision was made impulsively or without malicious intent.

How to Cope If you’ve Been Ghosted

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or sad. Allow yourself to process these emotions without judgment.
2. Don’t Internalize It: Ghosting is often more about the other person’s issues than about you. Resist the urge to blame yourself.
3. Seek Closure Within: Since you may never get an explanation, focus on creating your own closure. Journaling, talking to a friend, or seeking therapy can help.
4. Set Boundaries: Use this experience to establish what you will and won’t tolerate in future relationships.
5. Move Forward: While it’s tempting to dwell, prioritize your well-being and shift your energy toward people who value open communication.

If you’ve Ghosted Someone

1. Reflect on Your Actions: Ask yourself why you chose to ghost. Was it fear, avoidance, or something else?
2. Take Accountability: If possible, reach out and provide an explanation. Even a brief message can offer the other person closure.
3. Learn and Grow: Use this experience to improve your communication skills and handle future situations with more maturity and empathy.

Breaking the Ghosting Cycle

Ghosting highlights a larger issue of communication in relationships. To break the cycle, we need to normalize honesty and vulnerability. Here are a few tips:

Be Direct: If you feel the need to end a relationship, communicate it respectfully.

Practice Empathy: Consider how your actions might affect others.

Encourage Open Conversations: Create a safe space for dialogue, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Final Thoughts

Ghosting can feel like an emotional storm, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and self-reflection. Whether you’ve been ghosted or have ghosted someone, understanding the “why” behind the behavior can lead to greater clarity and compassion. At the end of the day, open communication and mutual respect are the foundation of any healthy relationship.

Ghosting: Is It a Psychological Disorder?

In the digital age, relationships often begin and end with the tap of a screen. Among the most perplexing and emotionally challenging phenomena to emerge from modern communication is “ghosting.” Ghosting refers to the act of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone, without explanation or warning. While it may seem like a simple act of avoidance, the psychological underpinnings of ghosting raise important questions: Is ghosting merely a behavioral choice, or could it be indicative of a deeper psychological disorder?

The Anatomy of Ghosting

Ghosting often occurs in romantic relationships but can also be seen in friendships, workplace interactions, and even family dynamics. For the person being ghosted, the experience can be profoundly confusing and hurtful, leading to feelings of rejection, self-doubt, and anxiety. But what drives someone to ghost in the first place?

Psychologists suggest that ghosting is frequently tied to avoidance. Avoidant behaviors often arise from discomfort with confrontation, fear of vulnerability, or an inability to manage difficult emotions. For some, ghosting provides an “easy out,” a way to escape uncomfortable conversations or situations without having to face the consequences directly.

Is Ghosting a Symptom of a Psychological Disorder?

While ghosting itself is not classified as a psychological disorder, it may be a symptom or behavioral manifestation of underlying mental health conditions. Here are a few possibilities:

1. Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD): Individuals with AvPD often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and a deep fear of rejection. They may avoid relationships or withdraw from them suddenly to protect themselves from perceived emotional harm.
2. Social Anxiety Disorder: For those with social anxiety, the idea of confrontation or explaining their feelings can be overwhelming. Ghosting becomes a way to sidestep this discomfort.
3. Fear of Intimacy: Some individuals struggle with forming deep emotional connections. When relationships become too close or demanding, they may ghost as a defense mechanism.
4. Emotional Immaturity or Narcissism: In some cases, ghosting is not driven by anxiety or fear but by a lack of emotional maturity or empathy. Narcissistic tendencies, for instance, may lead someone to prioritize their own convenience over the emotional well-being of others.

The Psychological Impact of Being Ghosted

The effects of ghosting on the recipient can be profound. Research has shown that sudden, unexplained rejection can activate the same brain regions associated with physical pain. Victims of ghosting often report experiencing:

Low Self-Esteem: Ghosting can lead individuals to question their self-worth, wondering what they did wrong or why they were not “good enough.”

Anxiety and Obsession: The lack of closure can leave people stuck in a loop of overthinking, trying to piece together an explanation.

Trust Issues: Being ghosted can make it difficult to trust others, especially in future relationships.

Is Ghosting Ever Justified?

While ghosting is often seen as cruel or selfish, there are situations where it may be necessary. In cases of abusive or toxic relationships, cutting off contact without explanation can be an act of self-preservation. However, in most cases, experts advocate for open and honest communication as the more emotionally responsible choice.

How to Address Ghosting Behavior

For those who ghost habitually, introspection and self-awareness are key. Understanding the emotions and fears driving the behavior can be the first step toward change. Therapy or counseling can provide tools to improve communication skills and manage conflict more effectively.

For those who have been ghosted, self-care and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can help in processing the experience. Remember that ghosting is often more reflective of the ghoster’s issues than your own worth.

Conclusion: A Learned Behavior, Not a Disorder

Ghosting is not a psychological disorder, but it can stem from or contribute to underlying mental health challenges. By understanding the psychological factors behind ghosting, both ghosters and those ghosted can take steps toward healthier, more compassionate communication. In a world increasingly reliant on digital interactions, fostering emotional intelligence and empathy is more important than ever.

The Silent Treatment: Understanding Its Impact and How to Address It

The silent treatment is a form of communication—or lack thereof—that involves deliberately ignoring or refusing to engage with another person. While it is often used as a way to express anger, frustration, or disappointment, the silent treatment can have profound emotional and psychological consequences for both the giver and the recipient.

What Is the Silent Treatment?

The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior where one person withdraws communication, leaving the other person in a state of uncertainty or discomfort. It can occur in any relationship—romantic partnerships, friendships, family dynamics, or workplace interactions.

While some may view it as a cooling-off period to avoid conflict, prolonged silence can escalate tensions and lead to deeper misunderstandings. The silent treatment often becomes a power play, where one person exerts control by withholding communication, leaving the other feeling powerless or excluded.

Why Do People Use the Silent Treatment?

1. Avoidance of Confrontation: Some individuals use silence to avoid a potentially uncomfortable or emotional discussion.
2. Expression of Hurt: The silent treatment can be a way of showing hurt feelings when someone doesn’t know how to articulate their emotions.
3. Punishment or Control: In some cases, silence is used to punish or manipulate the other person into submission.
4. Lack of Communication Skills: People may resort to silence because they lack the tools to resolve conflict in a healthy, constructive manner.

The Impact of the Silent Treatment

The silent treatment can have serious emotional and psychological effects, especially when used frequently or for extended periods. These effects include:

1. Emotional Distress: The recipient often feels rejected, devalued, or invisible, leading to feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion.
2. Erosion of Trust: Silence can create barriers in relationships, reducing trust and intimacy over time.
3. Heightened Anxiety: The uncertainty of not knowing the reason for the silence can lead to stress and overthinking.
4. Negative Self-Perception: The recipient may internalize the behavior, questioning their worth or blaming themselves for the situation.
5. Toxic Relationship Patterns: When silence is used as a recurring tactic, it fosters unhealthy dynamics that can harm both individuals in the relationship.

How to Address the Silent Treatment

If you’re on the receiving end of the silent treatment, here are some steps you can take:

1. Stay Calm: Avoid reacting with anger or frustration, as this may escalate the situation.
2. Acknowledge the Issue: Gently address the silence by expressing your observations without blaming the other person. For example, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been quiet lately. Is something bothering you?”
3. Encourage Open Communication: Create a safe space for dialogue, letting the other person know you’re ready to listen when they’re ready to talk.
4. Set Boundaries: If silence is being used as a form of manipulation, it’s essential to set boundaries and express how the behavior affects you.
5. Seek Support: If the silent treatment becomes a recurring issue, consider involving a counselor or mediator to help navigate the situation.

Preventing the Silent Treatment

Healthy communication is key to avoiding the silent treatment. Here are some strategies to foster open and respectful dialogue:

1. Express Emotions Constructively: Learn to articulate feelings in a way that invites understanding rather than defensiveness.
2. Practice Active Listening: Show empathy and attentiveness when someone is expressing their emotions or concerns.
3. Resolve Conflicts Early: Address misunderstandings promptly before they escalate into bigger issues.
4. Learn Emotional Regulation: Managing emotions effectively can prevent impulsive actions like shutting down communication.

Final Thoughts

The silent treatment is more than just a lack of words; it’s a powerful tool that can harm relationships and emotional well-being. While it may seem like an easy way to avoid conflict, silence often deepens misunderstandings and creates emotional distance. By fostering open communication, setting healthy boundaries, and addressing underlying issues, individuals can break the cycle of silence and build stronger, more supportive relationships.

Remember, the goal is not to win an argument or exert control but to understand and be understood. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect, empathy, and open dialogue.

Have you experienced ghosting? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts in the comments below—let’s keep the conversation going.

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Debasree Chakraborti is a renowned novel writer of Bengali language. Based in Kolkata, West Bengal, India, she has done Master’s in Modern History from the Kolkata University, and authored some thirty books, mostly the novels, with historical perspective and themes. Her novel is ‘Maharaja Dahir’ that covers the history of Sindh from 662, the year of first attack on Sindh by the Arab armies till date, was published last year and translated by Nasir Aijaz into Sindhi language.