Blog: Daughters as Princesses or Warriors

Let us not ask whether our daughters are princesses or warriors. Let us raise them to be both and more.

Let us raise daughters who can wear their crowns with dignity and wield their swords with purpose.

By Abdullah Usman Morai | Sweden

The Crown and the Sword

A little girl stands in front of her mirror, one hand clutching a sparkling tiara, the other gripping a wooden sword. Her eyes dance between the two, unsure whether to wear the crown or raise the blade. This image, simple yet symbolic, captures the essence of a global identity struggle: Are daughters to be raised as princesses—delicate, protected, and admired—or as warriors—resilient, empowered, and prepared for battle? In a world where gender norms are increasingly challenged and rewritten, how we define girlhood is more than a domestic question; it is a social, cultural, and political act.

Across continents and cultures, daughters have been raised under the shadows of expectations. These expectations have often leaned towards passivity, beauty, and obedience. But a new generation of parents, educators, and thinkers is beginning to ask: Why can’t our daughters wield the sword as confidently as they wear the crown? Can femininity embrace both gentleness and grit? This article explores the shifting paradigms of raising daughters, unpacks the psychological and societal implications of the princess-versus-warrior dichotomy, and calls for a new model that harmonizes strength with softness.

The Princess Paradigm: Cultural Conditioning and Gender Roles

From a young age, girls are often introduced to the world of fairy tales. Cinderella waits for her prince, Sleeping Beauty is rescued from eternal slumber, and Snow White’s story is resolved through a kiss. These tales, charming on the surface, imprint a powerful message: A girl’s value lies in her beauty, virtue, and ability to be chosen.

Toys and media reinforce these ideals. Walk into any toy store and you’ll notice the gender-coded aisles. Girls are offered dolls, kitchens, and makeup sets; boys are given building blocks, action figures, and science kits. This seemingly innocent division lays the foundation for gendered expectations that continue into adulthood.

In countries like Pakistan and India, daughters are still raised with the implicit belief that their ultimate goal is marriage and domesticity. They are taught to serve tea with grace, but not how to negotiate salaries or file taxes. In many conservative households, girls are discouraged from traveling alone, playing sports, or speaking up too loudly. The princess’s identity becomes a trap: glittering on the outside but limiting within.

The Warrior Identity: Resilience, Courage, and Agency

Thankfully, the winds are changing. Around the world, daughters are breaking stereotypes, not just in appearance but in action. Take the story of Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani girl who was shot for advocating girls’ education. Malala didn’t fit the mold of a docile, passive daughter. She was a warrior in a school uniform, and her courage won her the Nobel Peace Prize.

In Sweden, Greta Thunberg emerged as a teenage environmental activist challenging world leaders. In Afghanistan, Niloofar Rahmani became the country’s first female Air Force pilot, defying threats and societal scorn. In Kenya, Judith Oloo, once a street child, is now a lawyer advocating for girls’ rights.

These stories aren’t exceptions; they are beacons. They prove that when daughters are encouraged to lead, fight, and question, society benefits. Warrior daughters are not rebellious anomalies. They are the result of conscious parenting, progressive education, and environments that validate their strength.

Parenting: The First Battlefield

How a daughter is raised can determine whether she grows into a passive observer of her life or an active participant. Parenting plays a crucial role in shaping her identity.

Some parents still shower their daughters with compliments about looks rather than intellect. Phrases like “You’re so pretty” dominate over “You’re so clever.” This imbalance affects confidence and self-worth. However, more parents today are changing the narrative. They teach their daughters to ride bicycles, climb trees, and code computers. They involve them in conversations about current affairs, budgeting, and even politics.

In urban Sindh, a growing number of parents are enrolling their daughters in karate classes and robotics camps. In rural areas, community-led initiatives are slowly challenging the status quo. The work of organizations in Pakistan and in India is transforming how young girls see themselves, not as burdens, but as future changemakers.

Media and Representation: From Fairy Tales to Fierce Tales

Media plays a silent but powerful role in shaping how daughters view themselves. The transition from traditional princesses to more complex characters has already begun. Disney, once the harbinger of damsels-in-distress, has evolved. Moana, Merida (from Brave), and Elsa (from Frozen) represent strength, leadership, and independence.

Outside the realm of animation, real-world representation matters. The rise of female journalists like Maria Ressa and sportswomen like Sania Mirza and Elena Delle Donne inspires a new generation. Pakistani dramas, while still regressive at times, are also slowly showcasing more assertive female characters who challenge toxic traditions.

Representation creates normalization. When girls see women in labs, courts, boardrooms, and stadiums, they begin to imagine those spaces for themselves. When media embraces the warrior, society follows.

Education: The Great Equalizer

A daughter with access to quality education is more likely to become self-aware, assertive, and independent. Education gives her the vocabulary to question injustice and the tools to transform her community.

In Gilgit-Baltistan, the Bulbulik Music School not only teaches traditional instruments but also empowers girls to reclaim cultural space. In Swat, girls are now excelling in STEM fields, a domain once deemed “too hard” for them. The fight for girls’ education is not just about literacy; it is about agency.

Moreover, education systems that incorporate gender sensitivity, critical thinking, and leadership training raise daughters who are both emotionally intelligent and intellectually equipped to tackle challenges.

Intersectionality: Not All Daughters Have the Same Journey

The princess-versus-warrior debate cannot ignore class, caste, and geography. A daughter born in a Karachi apartment with access to private schooling has a different journey from one born in a Thatta village.

While urban daughters may grapple with glass ceilings, rural daughters often face stone walls. Child marriage, domestic labor, and lack of sanitation disproportionately affect marginalized girls. Therefore, empowering daughters must include policies that address these structural inequalities.

Governments must invest in infrastructure, transport, and healthcare tailored to girls’ needs. Civil society must amplify the voices of underrepresented girls. Warriorhood isn’t about violence; it’s about resilience against the odds. And the odds are unevenly distributed.

Can Daughters Be Both? Redefining Femininity

Why must we choose between a princess and a warrior? Why not both? A daughter can love pink while dismantling patriarchy. She can be gentle and fearless, elegant and assertive.

The problem lies not in crowns or swords but in our limiting definitions. When we say a girl is “like a boy” because she is strong, we insult her womanhood. Strength is not masculine. Sensitivity is not weak. Femininity, in its truest form, is vast and nuanced.

In Sindh, poet Attiya Dawood once wrote, “Aurat jeka saah khanethe, uho hik inqilab aa” (A woman who breathes is a revolution). Let our daughters be revolutions—not because they reject femininity, but because they redefine it.

Real-Life Case Studies: Daughters Who Redefined Their Roles

1. Zenab Abbas (Pakistan) – A sports presenter and journalist in a male-dominated industry, she paved the way for other Pakistani women to break into sports media. Zenab balances grace with boldness, proving that the crown and the sword can coexist.
2. Roshni (Fictionalized Composite Character) – A teenage girl from interior Sindh, Roshni secretly learned English through a community library initiative. Despite pressure to marry at 16, she negotiated with her parents to delay marriage and complete her studies. Today, she mentors younger girls in her village.
3. Maya Ghazal (Syria/UK) – A Syrian refugee who became the first female pilot from her community in the UK. Her story of fleeing war and reclaiming the sky is both metaphor and reality.
4. Aliya Soomro – She has risen as a pioneering force in the world of boxing, making history as the first Sindhi female boxer to compete on the world stage, hailing from Karachi’s vibrant Lyari neighborhood. Her inspiring journey—from a young girl with a dream to an international boxing sensation—reflects a lifelong commitment to resilience, passion, and unyielding determination. Alya’s story is a powerful reminder that girls can do anything—break barriers, chase dreams, and make history.

Raising Daughters for the Real World

We do our daughters a disservice when we raise them solely to be admired, rather than prepared. In a world full of complexities—climate change, conflict, inequality—we need daughters who can think critically, lead wisely, and act courageously.

Let us raise daughters who can wear their crowns with dignity and wield their swords with purpose. Daughters who are storytellers and story-breakers. Who dances and debates. Who nurtures and negotiates.

Because the future doesn’t need more damsels in distress. It needs daughters who disrupt, dream, and dare.

Let us not ask whether our daughters are princesses or warriors. Let us raise them to be both and more.

Read – Crisis of Identity: Finding Yourself

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Abdullah Soomro, penname Abdullah Usman Morai, hailing from Moro town of Sindh, province of Pakistan, is based in Stockholm Sweden. Currently he is working as Groundwater Engineer in Stockholm Sweden. He did BE (Agriculture) from Sindh Agriculture University Tando Jam and MSc water systems technology from KTH Stockholm Sweden as well as MSc Management from Stockholm University. Beside this he also did masters in journalism and economics from Shah Abdul Latif University Khairpur Mirs, Sindh. He is author of a travelogue book named ‘Musafatoon’. His second book is in process. He writes articles from time to time. A frequent traveler, he also does podcast on YouTube with channel name: VASJE Podcast.