Fehmi Ajvazi, an eminent author from Kosovo, has shared his book ‘In the Kingdom of Death’ published in Albanian in 2012 in Pristina, and in Romanian in 2019, and was translated from Albanian to English
[In March 1999, the Serbian regime blanketed Kosovo with a contingent of 120,000 regular police, military, and civilian paramilitary forces. Just about two weeks before NATO’s intervention in Kosovo began, the region was surrounded on all sides, while pockets of the interior (villages and towns) were hit with arrests, liquidations, and massacres. Kosovo became a reservation. A kingdom called the “Kingdom of Death” established authority everywhere! However, some areas were controlled by insurgent liberation forces, and in some places, Serbian forces couldn’t penetrate. Well, the hatred between Serbs and Albanians was the same, but the bullets were the same too: they brought death to everyone, and it was no problem for the “bullet” whether the target was Albanian or Serbian. I mean, the forces of the Kosovo Liberation Army held some territory and kept it free! But about ten days before NATO planes launched their attack in their battle for Kosovo, Albanian insurgents managed to have the world’s most powerful force as their ally: the NATO alliance. However, no one had managed to master a pact with death. Just a few days before March 24th, the “Lady of Death” was the ruler of Kosovo, in reality, she was the ruler of the Albanian citizens of this extremely small territory! And for the third time in history, the state of Serbia wanted nothing more and nothing less than: the ethnic cleansing of Kosovo. Over 1 million residents before March 24, 1999, challenged “this kingdom” by saying, “Here we are, your power is not the power of God!” I had decided to stay, not to leave. I was a journalist, but also a creator. And so, I had no idea what dilemmas lay in this direction, despite the open threats from the Serbs, and I knew well that they would try to wash their hands of us like Pontius Pilate! Regardless of every situation and circumstance, I sacrificed to be a witness to a time and a history without parallel! Yes, a witness…! And everything I have said and written about literary-historical conditions is in this book – a testimony. Therefore, this book is a source and my personal experience of a time I pray will never be repeated – anywhere. Just as I pray for the souls of those who did not come out alive in this “kingdom of death” in the third millennium! Read the truth about Kosovo… Author]
Candles have become very important to me, like bread. But where to find them? On the south side of the building block where I live, about a hundred meters further, a Serbian neighbor has started a “business” selling various items to residents of the neighborhood, mostly Albanians, of course. He, an elderly Serbian man, is visible from the window of my apartment, which faces the road between the buildings. He has placed the items he sells on a makeshift stand in the middle of a vacant lot and stands in front of them. He doesn’t fear like us. He’s not endangered like us, at least not by the Serbs, his fellow countrymen! Well, he’s not afraid of NATO either. So today, after four days and nights, I ventured out about 60-70 meters from the apartment block to see if there were any candles! And there were.
NATO’s Central Command is said to be entering a second phase of bombings without going into details about the bombing strategy. The NATO command has announced that it will expand its targets and the areas to be hit.
The Serbian neighbor wasn’t selling ordinary candles. He had found a way to profit: he had put candles meant for religious prayers, commemorations, religious ceremonies, etc., on the market. That’s what he was doing. He was selling them at a price of almost one German mark (80 pfennigs each). And it was worth it for me because what I needed them for was simply to provide some light. I bought candles worth almost ten German marks. In fact, I bought 8 candles.
March, 29
Morning on March 29 has arrived with heavy rain. I haven’t slept much, and neither has Shpresa. Even though she is very afraid, she has been trying to adapt to the situation lately. At least she’s making an effort. We’ve surrendered to fate. A little earlier, after pretending to have a normal lunch and drinking a cup of coffee together, as an antidote to the headache, we lay down together on the couch. She leaned lightly on me, as if she wanted to hide or find a little security, perhaps knowing that there is no safety anywhere anymore! Oh, her eyes had shrunk into the whirlpool of meditation and fear, while dark circles had formed around her eyes as if from a merciless punch. She was also losing weight. She didn’t feel alive. It’s been days since we’ve felt each other’s touch. As she leaned on me like that, like a child who has done something wrong, I gently stroked her hair, her hands, and her face. Niku was watching us with an angelic smile. In that upward stroke, I inevitably started caressing Shpresa, and she fell asleep like a weary and hungry traveler. Slowly, I laid her head on a pillow…
The day is slowly passing. NATO’s Central Command is said to be entering a second phase of bombings without going into details about the bombing strategy. The NATO command has announced that it will expand its targets and the areas to be hit. On the other hand, this clearly implies that Serbian criminals in Kosovo will also expand their genocidal objectives. The telephone, our only connection to the world, was cut off during today’s midday. The phone has been the only window at the end of the bloody tunnel that has connected us with our relatives everywhere: here in the capital, in Kosovo and its surroundings, in the world. During these days, I’ve spoken several times with my brother, my sister Shyhrete, who, along with her husband, has taken refuge in Gjilan.
The phone shutdown has plunged us into an even deeper, colder, and sadder isolation. It is said that the phone lines have been cut off only for Albanian residents. Now we do not know what is happening two to three hundred meters further.
My brother in Geneva has informed me about many things related to the movements of people outside the territory of Kosovo, the situation of our relatives, international political stances, the sensitized state of Kosovo in Switzerland, the solidarity of citizens and the Swiss state with Kosovo, and so on. On the other hand, my sister has kept me informed about the situation in Gjilan and its surroundings, the targets being bombed there, and so forth. I have also maintained contact with various relatives, some friends (Bejtush I., Muhamet G., Bujar H., Qëndrim K., etc.), and others I know in Pristina and abroad. Above all, the functioning of the telephone gave us the feeling that we were not entirely alone within these walls, that we were not completely broken, lost, forgotten, or submerged.
March, 30th
The phone shutdown has plunged us into an even deeper, colder, and sadder isolation. It is said that the phone lines have been cut off only for Albanian residents. Now we do not know what is happening two to three hundred meters further. Many Albanian-owned grocery stores have either been broken into and looted or closed down. Bakers have also started closing their shops, partly due to police pressure. People are beginning to feel the fear of bread shortages.
Violence continues to unfold step by step throughout the capital. The displaced population from these evacuated neighborhoods above is finding shelter in different parts of the capital, with relatives or wherever they can, just to “postpone” their eviction for one more day.
The Hospital Quarter, the Vranjevci Quarter (Hill of the Braves), the Toukbaqa Quarter, and the Sofalia Quarter, among others, have been attacked. Serbian forces have been dragging people out of their homes, first by cursing and then by beating and looting them, etc. Many houses, especially on the outskirts of the capital, have been set on fire. Serbian forces have also killed dozens of residents and arrested hundreds of others.
Violence continues to unfold step by step throughout the capital. The displaced population from these evacuated neighborhoods above is finding shelter in different parts of the capital, with relatives or wherever they can, just to “postpone” their eviction for one more day. Thousands of others, it is said, are flocking to the Dragodan and Fushë Kosovë train stations. The information is accurate: Pristina has started to empty forcefully. The wild wave of massive expulsions has begun. Thousands of people roam the streets. They are loaded with a few belongings, many of them not even knowing where they will go. This mirror of terror has increased our shock even more. This fate is coming to each one of us, street by street, yard by yard, doorstep by doorstep.
The Absence of Cigarettes
Today, I went out of my apartment once again, for the second time, because I didn’t have any cigarettes left. Ah, it’s been about 20 years since I smoked. The absence of tobacco is a torment in itself. Smokers know what torture the lack of it can cause. We’ve run out of matches as well, but the Serbian neighbor continues to sell various essential household items every day, including matches.
Niku can’t get used to the darkness. His childlike nature can’t endure the black pilgrimage of the night.
As I mentioned, today I left the apartment to buy cigarettes, around 11:00. As soon as I stepped onto the street, grenades began to explode from the direction of the north. The grenades fell over there in the northern part above the “White Apartments,” where the “Velania II” neighborhood begins. Thick smoke began to emerge from two houses hit by the grenades, and it was not clear which direction they were coming from. As I watched the smoke rising above the neighborhood, another grenade hit another three-story house. I was not the only one watching this scene; there were other people on the street who had “put their heads on the tray” and had come out of the doorstep. Dazed, we were all trying to understand what was happening. In short, we wanted to figure out where the grenades were coming from. (Continues)
Click here for Part-1, Part-2, Part-3, Part-4, Part-5, Part-6, Part-7, Part-8, Part-9, Part-10, Part-11, Part-12, Part-13, Part-14, Part-15, Part-16, Part-17, Part-18,
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[The book ‘In the Kingdom of Death’ is being reproduced in episodes with the consent of the author]
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