Parents should be transparent in their demands on their growing up children
- How far parents should interfere with the choices of the youngsters? This is the point at issue here. And I call it ‘transparenting’
Dr. Jernail Singh Anand
Very small kids are taken care of by their parents. It is necessary also to allow them adequate space and care to grow. But once they start growing up, in the very early youth, they start having their own views. Here, parents and young men and women are often found to come into clash. Parents want to enforce the rule of custom on the youngsters, whereas the youngsters want freedom of choice and action.
Young boys and girls at the age of 17 or 18 want to lead the life their own way and are often seen to revolt and leave their homes.
How far parents should interfere with the choices of the youngsters? This is the point at issue here. And I call it ‘transparenting’.
Parents should be transparent in their demands on their growing up children.
Parents have authority over their young children who are growing up. But how far and to what extent it can be justified?
The youngsters are not always wrong in their choices, and parents are not always right in what they think should go with the custom and social ethos.
In the name of family honour, tradition, people try to force the youngsters into submission, and force them to follow choices which they do not like. And the result is a disastrous life story.
It often happens with career choice, and then, the choice of partners.
Growing up young men and women want to lead a life of freedom. Parents want them to get hooked and married. Once married, family wisdom has it that the girl gets pregnant as soon as possible. Well, a strange logic works here. So that the man cannot run away from the marital bond.
The lives of the youngsters who follow the choices of their parents, are not necessarily very happy, because they have to accept people and situations which they have never liked. If you have to live with a partner you don’t like, you can imagine what type of a life you will be living. It will be dissatisfied and full of jerks, fears, and tears too. What is the fun of forcing them into relationships which are based entirely on considerations which are incompatible with the mental constitution of the young ones? Money, education, job, family status, lands have nothing to do with a good choice of a partner.
I think the disorder and confusion which our young generation faces, is mostly due to the fact that the parents try to force their choices on them. They are doing things they do not like. They are living with men and women they do not like. And such a life creates people who have no love even for their parents who forced them into wrong unions.
I think it is better if parents stand back, and see what their offspring wants. Let them have freedom and stop them only if they are going entirely out of the way. There has to be a very large space for them to act, even if they are a bit wrong. I want transparency, in the actions of the parents. It is time we should think out of the box and allow freedom to the young ones to make their choices.
If the parents are considerate, the youngsters will share their minds with them. The young ones too must listen to the advice of the parents, but they need not accept it if it violates their mental priorities.
We need a growing up society of men and women who are at ease with their decisions. Parents are the major road block which disturbs the flow of youthful life. We need to provide a jerk free life to them, so that they could create some great ideas and do great things. Good parents will not interfere with their inner lives. Rather, give them freedom to live the way they want, so that they could have a life style conducive to creativity. We should remember that confusions in social ranks is the result of wrong choices for which parents are mainly responsible.
Read: ETHICS & PUBLIC MORALITIES
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Dr. Jernail Singh Anand, based in Chandigarh, is an Indian poet and scholar credited with 170 plus books of English literature, philosophy and spirituality. He won great Serbian Award Charter of Morava and his name adorns the Poets’ Rock in Serbia. He was honored with Seneca Award LAUDIS CHARTA by Academy of Arts & Philosophical Sciences, Bari, Italy 2024. He is Founder President of the International Academy of Ethics and conferred Doctor of Philosophy (Honoris Causa) by University of Engineering & Management, (UEM) Jaipur. Email anandjs55@yahoo.com
Biblio-link: https://sites.google.com/view/bibliography-dr-jernal-singh/home
