Jealousy is a minimum common factor even among siblings and very common among friends and colleagues
Dr. Jernail S. Anand
How cruel of Shakespeare to engineer the death of a beautiful woman, like Desdemona, that too at the hands of her own husband, who was a hard core lover too!
Jealousy is a minimum common factor even among siblings and very common among friends and colleagues. The general behaviour of an ordinary man is: he does not approve if his friend goes ahead even on the basis of merit. The idea of “injured merit” came very heavily in Shakespeare’s plays like ‘Julius Caesar’ and ‘Othello’. The most dangerous aspect of this feeling of jealousy ‘the green eyed monster’ is found in John Milton’s ‘The Paradise Lost’. Cassius in ‘JC’, Iago in ‘O’ and the great archangel Satan in ‘PL’, are classic examples of “injured merit” as a result of which they finally bring empires down.
Jealousy has a positive aspect also. If your colleagues is moving ahead, it can cause ‘zealousy’… Zealousness is a positive virtue in which one person does not harm or kill the other person, rather it helps him work harder and compete with his friend. But we are living in a crooked world, in which jealousy has become the center of loose discussions among friends, and people bow to bring them down. Jealousy is very dangerous among couples. Love triangles always prove a disaster. How cruel of Shakespeare to engineer the death of a beautiful woman, like Desdemona, that too at the hands of her own husband, who was a hard core lover too!
The Objective Button
Households break up and spouses kill one or the other, and end up in jails for a life time, simply because of a base passion. What should be done? This ‘green eyed monster’ is such a natural emotion. No man can see the other more blessed than himself. The only way seems to be to switch on the ‘Objective’ button. Jealousy is always based on comparison which underlines ‘injured merit’. If we can have an objective view of the two situations, we can understand that if the other person scores higher marks, there are some reasons. And it should satisfy us. But we have seen people giving wrong information about the date of examination to their friends, who then miss the paper. It gives the culprit sadistic pleasure to bring his own friend down.
Nerves of Steel
In fact, to digest a friend’s rise, you need the nerves of steel, and a heart of stone. If one of the teachers becomes Principal, have you ever thought why all the previous colleagues turn against him? It is jealousy. Because, administrative posts are blessed seats, which are given directly by gods, to selected people, who possess ‘Rajya Yog’ in their palms. Other teachers can be very senior, very qualified, but Principalship goes to only those, who have Rajya Yog. When it is clear they do not have Rajya Yog, they turn to Bhagya Yog. Hit and trial. They try to foment trouble so that if the Principal has to be tolerated, at least he should face intolerable conditions. And perhaps, they harbour a desire also, that the man somehow steps down. For this, students become easy fodder.
We are living in a crooked world, in which jealousy has become the center of loose discussions among friends
Even in other fields of life, such things happen. The important thing to see here is: Do such people enjoy their lives? Or whatever they have? We lose the joy of the things we possess the moment we put them aside, and run after others. The possessed joys close their doors on us. We must realize that what we get is entirely peculiar to us and it is beyond comparison. In the same way, what a friend gets, whether it is a promotion, or even a beautiful wife, it is his destiny. His luck. We must not compare, nor ever think anybody has grabbed our position. It cannot be. Nobody can get what is meant for you. At least for such a sense of justice, we give full credit to gods. And, they do not allow any one rest in peace who does not trust their wisdom, and keeps shaking the porridge himself.
The Human Psychology
Based on my understanding of human character, I wish to make another observation, which can be helpful to the readers in the conduct of personal affairs. Just accept that nobody is interested in your growth, your wellbeing, and your prosperity. When we get something by a stroke of luck, and it is precious too, we rush to our friends, and share sweets, or offer dinners. You can be sure of one thing. All of them are not for you. Some of them have come, because not coming would have offended you. They will wish you with a bouquet of flowers. Flowers give real smiles and real fragrance. Don’t expect such priceless awards from human beings: real smiles and real fragrance.
Read: How to Spot and Cope with Feelings of Jealousy
Generally we say, one who stays by us in times of need is our real friend. But I disagree. A friend who is with you in your joy, is your real friend. In sorrow, everyone comes to console you, even those to whom you are even remotely connected. It takes no time to lose a good friend, once you tell him, you have got some prize, some happiness. But, here is the ‘mantra’, if you keep telling your friends how unhappy you are, that you have lost something, that you are in trouble, they will come close to you, and ask you ‘’Ohhh! What has happened?” You know you are faking, and they too are faking, and it will not harm you in any way.
To conclude, I would like to say that there are a few people, among them I would include your mother, your father, and your teacher, who always believe in your intelligence and power, and whenever you win, they are the first to embrace you with love, and feel proud. I have not added siblings, because that is tricky. Now, there are still people who admire you, and have faith in your capabilities, and want to see you on cloud nine. These are very few people, they have a heart of gold. In fact they are the ‘Darvish’ [Saints].
Read – CRIMONOGEN FOUND IN HUMAN BLOOD: GODS CALL EMERGENCY MEETING
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Dr. Jernail Singh Anand, President of the International Academy of Ethics, is author of 161 books in English poetry, fiction, non-fiction, philosophy and spirituality. He was awarded Charter of Morava, the great Award by Serbian Writers Association, Belgrade and his name was engraved on the Poets’ Rock in Serbia. The Academy of Arts and philosophical Sciences of Bari [Italy] honored him with the award of an Honorable Academic. Recently, he was awarded Doctor of Philosophy [Honoris Causa] by the University of Engg and Management, Jaipur. Recently, he organized an International Conference on Contemporary Ethics at Chandigarh. His most phenomenal book is Lustus: The Prince of Darkness [first epic of the Mahkaal Trilogy]. Email: anandjs55@yahoo.com
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