Silence is one of the most dangerous things for a mental health disorder. The reason for this silence is the stigma attached
Mental health disorder is seen as a disgrace and shame
Tasneem Hossain | Bangladesh
A few days back, one of my friends’ daughter aged 17, committed suicide. The reason- she had anxiety disorders.
I was shell-shocked. I have known that friend for years, yet, I never knew about this. Why? It’s because she never opened up about her daughter’s illness. Moreover, she never took her to any doctor.
Once again- a big WHY?
The simple answer is that she was ashamed to share it with us or take her to a doctor.
Silence is one of the most dangerous things for a mental health disorder. The reason for this silence is the stigma attached. Mental health disorder is seen as a disgrace and shame.
Regrettably, the stigma of mental illness is common and rooted in our lives. It comes in many forms of negative attitudes and beliefs, leading to discrimination; lack of understanding by family, friends and co-workers; fewer opportunities for work, school or social activities; bullying, physical violence or harassment etc. People might also avoid the person affected, assuming the person to be dangerous. Also, may use derogatory language.
It makes the affected person feel unfit, ashamed or hurt. The sufferer becomes reluctant to seek the much-needed professional help or treatment and withdraws into a cocoon shell. It aggravates the condition more.
Regrettably, the stigma of mental illness is common and rooted in our lives
Anxiety disorder is the most common of all mental illnesses and also quite treatable.
Unfortunately, very few of the patients seek treatment. Because, mental health concerns seem to be a matter of shame. So, no one talks about it openly, and this is one of the leading causes that has seen the rise in deaths by suicide worldwide. Suicide or suicidal tendencies among young people is a major health concern now. The majority of children and adolescents who attempt suicide have a significant mental health disorder, usually depression.
‘Mental health is a part of our overall health. And, like physical illness, mental illnesses are not a choice or a personal flaw but medical conditions that require care’ – Cari Dwyer, director, Exhibit Project Management, Minnesota Science Center and Project
Anxiety disorder is the most common of all mental illnesses and also quite treatable.
Do you know? More than 720 000 people die due to suicide every year. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15–29-year-olds. Seventy-three per cent of global suicides occur in low- and middle-income countries.
It’s high time we normalized discussions on mental health concerns and create awareness of its devastating impact on the person affected so that people take it seriously.
Positive preventive measures should be taken for helping people not to fall into this death trap of depression.
This article deals with measures to be taken to help children and teenagers to be mentally healthy.
All of us go through certain phases of life and the transition period between these phases can be exciting but can also be uncomfortable. One such early transition is between puberty and adulthood that is joyful as well as challenging for child and parent alike. Certain dramatic changes in the physical development of children, sometimes, lead to many emotional and behavioural problems. Unless dealt cautiously, these changes in teenage years may cause emotional stress leading to depression and anxiety.
Read: A Comprehensive Approach to Suicide Prevention
The other risk factors, among many other, identified are family history of drug and alcohol abuse, exposure to violence, social and cultural factors, bullying, acute loss or rejection, displacements due to war and financial insecurity; and exposures to unhealthy environments like the dish culture and misuse of technology. An unsupportive family background and poor coping skills can create feelings of hopelessness, stress, self-doubt; and the pressure to succeed can all lead to anxiety disorders. The greed and unhealthy competition for material things is another challenge from which we, ourselves, haven’t come out yet. For some teens, suicide may appear to be a solution to their problems.
Fortunately, depression and suicidal tendencies are treatable mental disorders. Early detection and comprehensive treatment can lead to a total recovery of the child or adolescent concerned.
The pandemic period from 2020 to 2022 also had a strongly negative impact on everyone’s life. Lockdowns, isolations and deaths all around; school closures and social distancing also affected their normal lifestyles. This stressful environment had a negative impact on their mental health.
Fortunately, depression and suicidal tendencies are treatable mental disorders. Early detection and comprehensive treatment can lead to a total recovery of the child or adolescent concerned.
As parents, we are also stressed out managing our physical and emotional response to everyday challenges in our lifestyles. We might be able to cope with this stress but teenagers may not be equipped to manage on their own.
So, it’s crucial for parents, and all of us, to take immediate actions to build mentally and ethically strong children and teens.
Some of the possible strategies that you can take are to be available when your children need you. Encourage them to express their feelings openly. It’s important to talk about stressful situations to take a load off from their chests. But remember, adolescence means independence too. Try to give your teen the appropriate privacy.
Tell them anxiety is normal and that when they are stressed, they can shift their thoughts somewhere else. They can play or watch a funny movie. The distraction will ease their minds.
Be a good role model. Share your feelings of isolation with them and how you are dealing with your own stressful situations. Whether they admit it or not, teens learn from their parents, and one of the best ways to teach stress management techniques is by setting good examples.
Look for ways to converse with them. Ask them to join you in a simple task and chat how their day has been and what they have been doing. However, remember that adolescence means independence too. So, try to give your teen the appropriate privacy as well.
Maintaining the school or college day routine will help them to concentrate on their work. Though it might be tempting to make a plan for them, ask them to write down their daily plan on paper. Later, sit with them and discuss how it can be improved.
Having meals together also helps strengthen family ties and reduces stress. Have easy conversations. Surprise them with their favorite dish. They will feel loved.
Help them with their hobbies. Find some fun activities to do together like preparing food, drawing, watching a movie, playing board games etc. These fun activities will provide distraction for the brain and relieves stress.
Encourage them to exercise and join music or dance classes. Researchers suggest that physical movement of any kind is a stress reliever and has a calming effect on the mind and body. Motivate them to play outside (if there is a safe playground) rather than sit long hours in front of the computer or engage in mobile chats. Join them in these physical activities to form a healthy bond helping them to open up and build trust.
Spending time in nature is an effective way to improve overall well-being. Join them, if possible, to form a healthy bond. Have fun running together and exercising in the park. Spending time out in nature is an effective way to minimize stress and improves overall well-being.
Help them with their hobbies. Find some fun activities to do together like preparing food, drawing, watching a movie, playing board games etc.
Physical exercise will also help them sleep well. Experts recommend 8 to 10 hours of sleep at night for teenagers. To have a good night’s sleep, limit all kinds of screen use at night.
Teach them deep breathing exercises to help in proper intake of oxygen for relaxation.
Motivate them to keep a diary to write about their feelings, some positive things and things they are grateful for. Writing improves one’s sense of well-being. Do it yourself too. Exchange some of the thoughts which might lead to some laughter easing relationships and making them relaxed.
As, children often take their emotional cues from the key adults in their lives, including parents and teachers, it’s important to be calm and proactive in your conversations with them. While discussing, speak kindly and in a reassuring tone. Choose words carefully. You can use phrases like, ‘I understand’ or ‘it sounds like a difficult situation’. Harsh words lead to disaster.
It’s easy to notice things your teens do, that you don’t like. However, never discuss the issue when you are angry. Walk away, and address it only after you have calmed down.
Also, try to notice and praise them for something they are doing well.
Children and teens easily fall into the trap of negative self-talk. When they use negative self-talk, encourage them to think of the positive things they did in their work. Positive thinking will help them develop confidence.
The use of technology or social media has become an integral part of our lives. Unfortunately, the websites or social media is flooded with negative news and misinformation. Help them filter out the negatives and focus more on the positives. Parental guidance should be ensured for watching television and use of the Internet.
Online games, social media and video chat programs provide opportunities to learn, enjoy and connect with friends. Have an honest conversation on how to stay safe online. Make them understand how to communicate and with whom; what’s appropriate, what’s not. Help them maintain a balance between online recreations with offline activities.
Sometimes children and teenagers become victims of bullying in person or online. Look for signs. They may become silent, anxious, and aggressive or throw tantrums. A few simple words of encouragement can help them feel comfortable to share their feelings with you. Help them understand that they are not alone. Take appropriate actions.
Teens learn from their parents, and one of the best ways to teach is to be a good role model. Be empathetic and teach them empathy
All religions teach to lead a good life. Religious education for children will enhance their understanding of the goodness of life; to be kind and grateful. Gratitude and kindness calm the mind and enhances a sense of self-fulfillment. It will also help them not to get involved in immoral acts or behaviour.
Teens learn from their parents, and one of the best ways to teach is to be a good role model. Be empathetic and teach them empathy. Point out how blessed they are. Teach them to be grateful for what they have. They will learn compassion and their need for materialistic things will decrease.
Read – Daughters: A Divine Gift
As parents, we all want the best for our children. Let’s give them a loving, safe and peaceful environment.
Governments, different social welfare agencies, NGOS and educational Institutions should increase their involvement in taking steps to address the issue to improve the mental health of the children.
Mental depression is almost a taboo to talk about. If stress becomes a concern, immediately seek professional assistance from a counsellor or psychiatrist.
The early years of the children shape their thoughts and feelings. It has to be taken care of early so that their minds are ready to reciprocate for a healthy mind. As parents and guardians, it’s our responsibility to help our children have a healthy mental and physical growth. A little consciousness on our part can help save these invaluable lives.
Our children are precious. Let’s help them grow into resilient and empathetic human beings.
Take action now!
[Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own for informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for consultation with a licensed healthcare practitioner.]
Read: Transformational Changes and Social Responsibility
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Tasneem Hossain is a multilingual poet, columnist, op-ed and fiction writer, educator translator and training consultant from Bangladesh. She is the Director of Continuing Education Centre, Bangladesh. As an op-ed writer, she has authored over 135 articles. Several of her articles and poems are utilized as teaching material in universities and academies across various countries; some have been referenced in university research papers. She is author of three poetry collections—Grass in Green, The Pearl Necklace, and Floating Feather and a book of articles ‘Split and Splice’, she also leads an international poetry project and group called Life in Lyrics. Her powerful writings are regularly featured in esteemed publications around the globe. A number of her poems have been translated into seven languages and published in literary journals across 29 countries. She has also been interviewed on various literary platforms in recognition of her contributions to world literature. She served as a faculty member of Business English at Chittagong University of Engineering and Technology. Currently, she is the director of the prominent human resource development organization, Continuing Education Centre (Bangladesh), and Cansaz Services and Distribution LLC (Canada). With 27 years of experience, she is a highly regarded Business English language and Communication Management trainer. She actively participates in sports whenever the opportunity arises. For 10 years, she worked as a newscaster, commentary reader, and radio presenter for Radio Bangladesh.
