The adjective “fat “is often used to describe an Indian Wedding on grounds of overall exuberance and exotic preparation, mammoth reception arrangements and a congregation of hundreds, even thousands of people for one holy reason.
By Nazarul Islam
We expect the Heavens to come down, when the season is right at the eternal door of two souls…it’s the time when wedding bells chime. In the multidimensional and multicultural society of India these are the most beautiful moments that brighten up the souls of the loved ones. The event heralds perhaps the most vicious man made institution under the sun—all captured in a single frame.
Someone like me, who has sought to capture the most brilliant side of Indian culture, hoping to exhibit my virtual presence at the big fat Indian wedding, could have been deemed nothing short of an ultimatum. The best way to collect the moments that those two souls had weaved—were simply too obvious, to have been captured candidly.
Therefore I knocked the “candid photographer” in me and from the distance (10,000 km away) blended with the gala event and rich traditions… those which were preserved like unique gems. The author in me would eventually come to know that wedding in India almost always has traversed beyond being just a mere unity of two souls.
The adjective “fat “is often used to describe an Indian Wedding on grounds of overall exuberance and exotic preparation, mammoth reception arrangements and a congregation of hundreds, even thousands of people for one holy reason.
Starting from ceremonial rituals like sangeet, bhet, haldi, mehndi, charath, barati, kaleera , jaimala, maang bharna, saat phere, kanya dan, and vidai to some exotic cuisine belonging to different culture such as bhetki maacher paturi in a Bengali wedding, Kaddoo ki sabzi and the Bihari style Litti Chokha in a north Indian wedding.
Besides, the tandoori in a Punjabi wedding, Dal-bati-churma in a Rajasthani wedding, Undhiyo in a Gujarati wedding, Batate wada in a Marathi wedding, and Benne Dosa in a south Indian wedding everything seem to be treasure trove for a traveler who is unfamiliar with the traditional Indian wedding. So there goes another BHUKKAR… in other words a distant wedding gatecrasher whose eyes strained towards the menu and mouth watered just imagining in to be standing at the buffet.
These activities observed in an Indian wedding always continue to fascinate invitees from far or near, every time and always who chance upon an Indian wedding… INVITED OR UNINVITED. The most beautiful feature of an Indian wedding is that it is polychromatic and all the shades of our cultures are deeply embedded in tgese weddings, because people of the subcontinent don’t marry as Indians but as Marathis, Punjabis, Muslims, Bengalis and the alike.
A traveler who lands in any Indian Wedding is sure to present himself with a lot of sweet and funny customs and bathe in the sentiments of the tradition. What are reality TV star Kim Kardashian, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair and famous Indian cricketer Jasprit Bumrah and others doing in the same room together? Attending a wedding, of course! Anati Ambani, the youngest son of Mukesh Ambani, the richest person in the Asian continent married Radhika Merchant in a three-day wedding ceremony in Mumbai last weekend.
Indian weddings are known to be lavish, opulent affairs, with multiple religious ceremonies and parties to celebrate the groom and bride. It’s a multibillion-dollar industry, making it the second-largest wedding market in the world, behind the United States
The event, which has been publicly questioned for being a vulgar display of extreme privilege in an impoverished India! Obviously, this event has captured headlines for most of the year, as pre-wedding ceremonies and celebrations have featured appearances by some of the most famous names in the world. The wedding was estimated to cost around $ 150 million but the exact figure is unknown. I think this number is grossly understated!
This isn’t the first time the Ambanis have made headlines for their lavish weddings: In 2018, Beyoncé performed a concert at a pre-wedding celebration of Isha Ambani, the daughter of Mukesh Ambani. Mukesh Ambani is the owner of India’s giant Reliance Industries which is in fact multinational conglomerate that sells everything from petrochemicals to real cheap phones.
Indian weddings are known to be lavish, opulent affairs, with multiple religious ceremonies and parties to celebrate the groom and bride. It’s a multibillion-dollar industry, making it the second-largest wedding market in the world, behind the United States. Indian weddings stand out because they go on for multiple days, with different events and celebrations that each have their own cultural significance.
The Ambani wedding had been no exception. Celebrations started four months before the wedding on Friday. Indian weddings differ greatly depending on which region of India families are from, and can be much smaller in some cases. The Ambanis are from Gujrat, a state in North western India, and they have followed many of the typical customs of that region.
On Monday, the week’s wedding celebrations started with a private haldi ceremony. In a haldi ceremony, a turmeric paste is spread on the bride and groom’s face or bodies by their friends and family. Haldi, which means turmeric in Hindi, is well known for its anti-inflammatory and healing properties. Some consider haldi to have a purifying effect on the bride and groom.
The ceremony is usually private and attended by only the closest friends and families, a tradition the Ambanis followed. The wedding itself began on Friday and lasted well into the next day. The main ceremony took place in Mumbai’s Jio World Convention Center, which has a capacity of 16,000 people. A red carpet was rolled out for the guests, who included wrestler and actor John Cena, singer Nick Jonas and reality TV stars Kim and Khole Kardashian.
A traditional Hindu wedding usually has the bride and groom tied together with a piece of cloth as the groom leads the bride around a pit of fire seven times. These are called the pheras, or the marriage vows. A pundit, or Hindu priest, usually chants the vows in Sanskrit as the couple circle the flames. Each round around the fire symbolizes a different commitment the bride and groom are making to each other and to God. Once the vows are over, the couple is officially married.
The ceremony can take anywhere from 45 minutes to three hours depending on the exact traditions the couple is following. The crowd at the Ambani wedding was so large that police had to divert traffic around the venue It’s monsoon season in India, and heavy rains have been disrupting flights into Mumbai all week.
After a quiet proposal at a temple in December, Radhika Merchant took part in her first engagement celebration in January: a traditional Indian mehndi ceremony. The event known lovingly as the ‘henna’ or mehndi ceremony, is typically held the night before a wedding. The bride has henna, a type of dye that leaves a red-orange stain, applied to her hands and feet.
Ceremonies are usually organized by the bride’s side of the family, and are meant as a way to give the bride a chance to relax, as henna takes a few hours to develop after applying. After that ceremony the pair had held a gol dhana ceremony, a Gujarati engagement event in which sweets made of coriander seeds are exchanged by the bride and groom. Typically, the bride arrives at the groom’s house with these sweets and other gifts, which are exchanged between families to symbolize their engagement.
Ambani’s gol dhana ceremony drew in some of the biggest names in Bollywood, including actors Salman Khan, Shah Rukh Khan and Aamir Khan, who are household names in India. The wedding first made headlines when singer Rihanna performed at a pre-wedding celebration in the family’s hometown in March of this year.
The 1500 or so guest list had included Mark Zuckerberg , Bill gates and Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner. Shortly after their star-studded event, the family set off on a four-day European cruise on a luxury ship. There was a strict no-phones policy, but leaked footage showed singers including Pitbull and the Backstreet Boys performing on the yacht. Katy Perry performed for the family at one of their stops on their cruise.
The Ambanis didn’t just settle for one ultra-rare performance at their pre-wedding festivities: just last week, Justin Bieber performed at yet another pre-wedding celebration at an arts center in Mumbai founded by Anant Merchant’s mother.
Although the Bieber performance was what was officially given the title, all of these parties, spanning multiple continents and months, might be considered part of a sangeet. Usually, the musical is a daylong celebration of dancing to the tune of festive music before the wedding. Family members usually perform a choreographed dance to a Bollywood song, leading up to a final dance between the bride and groom, symbolizing the two families becoming one.
The word musical ‘sangeet’ is Sanskrit literally means “sung together” Once the wedding was over, the couple engaged in the last part of a traditional Hindu ceremony, shubh ashirwad, known as the divine blessing ceremony. Here, the couple seeks blessings from community elders.
Usually, the couple is showered with rose petals and rice as they walk down the aisle once again, concluding the wedding ceremonies for the bride and groom. Up next, the Mangal Ustav, or the reception: much like an American wedding, this was a party that took place right after the marriage ceremonies were over. Here, the new husband and wife have their first chance to dance and celebrate their new life, as a married couple.
The Ambani wedding reception took place at the Ambani family’s $2.0 billion residence in Mumbai and was surely a once in a life time, star-studded and extravagant event, as the last four months of Indian festivities. Contrary to the regular American weddings, the Indian home truly is where you land; not where you launch.
You can pick your home any more than you can choose your family. Is it love, or is it convenience?… one Indian lady tried to explain that connivance, habit, comfort, obligation- these are all things that wear the same clothing as love sometimes!!! That is the myth of the Indian wedding, be it lean or be it fat!!
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The Bengal-born writer Nazarul Islam is a senior educationist based in USA. He writes for Sindh Courier and the newspapers of Bangladesh, India and America. He is author of a recently published book ‘Chasing Hope’ – a compilation of his articles.
